Need and want can be very destructive ego strategies

Two of the most powerful self-limiting strategies must be that of need and want, especially when fuelled by a sense of lack, of “not enough”. After all they are thoughts that not only fuel much of our economics and politics at the macro level but also, at the micro level, for some it drives the need to meet every-day needs in order to survive, and for others to satisfy the seemingly insatiable hunger for more and more of the material trappings of life. It is so pervasive that we don’t think of questioning it, but instead we assume it to be part of us, who we are.

To get a sense of how destructive wanting can be, it can be useful to write down all things that you want. The fantasy of winning the lottery is one such example: can’t we all do that big time, filling our thoughts with the splurge of materialism? Also we might be imagining that we will also be happy, despite all the evidence that materialism doesn’t bring happiness. Then there’s the emotional lack that we can get into, wanting love, a relationship, to be valued and appreciated, that others care. Thus we can get into all that’s missing in our lives. Money usually comes up at some point, wanting more than you’ve currently got, there never being “enough”, always a sense of insufficiency.

Unfortunately the cycle of lack is such that satisfaction of need tends to set up another desire after a while and we go throughthe loop once again.

Desire is a trap for the seeker

No wonder masters tell us that desire is one of the most deadly and destructive forces to the spiritual seeker and to those interested in their self development. Wanting creeps up on us, subtly, unseen, despite maybe a successful bout of meditation, learning, insights and understandings. Most common is how people come back off their spiritual “high”, back down to earth, to the “realworld” as people put it, to their everyday needs, such as the need to earn money, only to be hit by that old devil called desire.

In the Bible, when a rich man asked Jesus what is needed for eternal life, he was enjoined to give all he has to the poor and follow him. But, we are told, the rich man was sad, because he had much wealth. The material will easily get in the way of our higher aspirations. It is so powerful. And this thought powers much of our current functioning, at all levels.

Being attached to desire, to unmet need and want, it is said, is the source of much of the world’s unhappiness.

You might check for yourself how much of your day is taken up with various aspects of want and need. Again, as with all self awareness, it is to catch yourself being caught up in it, being wrapped up in your ego. Then the real task is to let go of it, and to keep doing so each time it reoccurs.

Being happy with your lot

How much of your life is taken up by wanting, desire, lack, dissatisfaction and not being happy with your lot? This is about desire and there not “being enough”.

Eastern philosophy gives a big role in its analysis of human suffering to desire. They say that being caught up in desire explains much of our inability to find contentment. Swami Muktananda when responding to someone who complained of always feeling dissatisfied, said,

You become dissatisfied with what you have because you are not aware of all you have. If you were aware of all that you have, it would give you supreme satisfaction, and the question of being dissatisfied would not arise at all. Everyone suffers from this tendency.”

He meant that we have supreme contentment already within us. We already have everything.

Humans can’t get this and so the cycle of desire goes on and on, not being happy with your lot, caught up in dissatisfation, till you do get it and let go.

The effects of desire can be deadly. Wanting creates not just dissatisfaction with our lot, but envy, jealousy and hatred. We compare ourselves with others and we long for things to be better. Thus there’s a seemingly unending pattern of thinking we don’t have enough, aren’t good enough, and our lives are governed by scarcity thinking. We can’t see the natural abundance of the universe. We’re seemingly very caught up in this at the moment.

Here is an alternative approach

Give yourself some time to yourself. Meditation is good. This time, start by allowing yourself to be aware of where you are feeling dissatisfied and then, as you breathe in and breathe out long, as you take your awareness within for meditation, imagine that with the out-breath you are letting go of dissatisfaction. Breathe it out; breathe it away. Take your time. Let it be gone. And now allow yourself to take your awareness to your heart centre and then, once you have settled your focus there, rest in the awareness of the love that naturally dwells there. As far as you can, allow this love to flow around your body and as you meditate, allow this love to flow out around you. Perhaps have the thought of it doing that, or visualise it doing that, or hear the sounds of the very subtle, gentle rustle of the warm, loving breeze as flows out around you. And now, as you meditate, allow that love to spread out around your room, then your house, then your family, then your neighbours, the street where you live, your town, your country, and even the world, to reach all those who are unhappy and who are dissatisfied. Have that intention. Let it be there. Breathe your love out to them. And now just rest in this loving state awhile.

The point is to switch awareness out of your negative state into that which uplifts you, and have your focus be there, happy with your lot, your true lot, who you really are.

Enjoy.